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Ideology

Every individual has a Sex and Relationship Ideology.I have minewhich is based on my years of Observation,Communication with Couplesand Inferences drawn from scientific Sociological and Sexologicalliterature..Every Country has its own set of Sex and Relationshipnorms or values.Does this make one country superior to another?Not at all.

Talking about Sex, I am fascinated by the Gender issues thatprevail around the world,How men and women communicate sexually indifferent cultures,Sexual behaviour patterns of differentsocieties,challenges of different sexual orientations and SexualDiversity.As a Sexologist i am a constant learner of these areas andhold all of them in uttermost respect.It is my endeavour to understandand communicate to people the beauty of such fascinating elements ofHuman Sexuality.People with Atypical Sexual behaviour should seekPsychiatric help and I am a strongly against Sexual Victimsation.

Lesbian,Gay,Bisexual and Transgender studies are such a challengeto our views about Sexuality.Personally I believe LGBT men and womenshould be treated no differently than Heterosexual Men andWomen.Representations of LGBT characters in school textbooks couldhelp many of us understand them,their problems and what could be donefor them, A great way to understand LGBT community is to watchdocumentaries and LGBT film festivals.Personally ,I have learnt somuch from these sources.They aid me in Counselling Men and Womenpractising Alternate Sexuality.

Pornography and Prostitution are way too complex to be labelled asPositive or Negative elements in the society.

It is my conviction that to maintain Monogamy,every couple shouldspend some time on pillow talk and have in his library books like TheKamasutra,Ananga Ranga or The Perfumed Garden or any coffee table bookon sex.Equally important is to understand the impact of religion andethics in our bedroom lives.

I would like to mention that there is no single Sexual value thatis right for every individual.Every culture has different sexualvalues and we have to develop tolerance ,if not understanding of thosevalues.Therefore don`t view different sexual behaviour and differentsexual practices through your cultural lens.It is precisely tounderstand different cultures and their lifestyles that I am a studentof Cultural Anthropology.Now I understand the Sexual Diversity andappreciate it..An easy way to assimilate this is to watchInternational Cinema.of different countries.

Coming to Relationships,they are of so manykinds:Marriage,Cohabitation,threesomes,communes,same sex and allrelationships of pansexual men and women.Should we judge allrelationships keeping Heterosexual Marriage as the barometer for themall.I disagree.No institution is perfect and we can all learn fromdifferent lifestyles operating in the world.We think about tribalrelationships as backward but their social world is a very stablesystem.Have you heard of Tribal Divorce?

Marriage Customs both in industrialised and tribal societieseducate me in living life together in a long term relationships.Forexample ,the Saptapadi in Hindu Marriage is Marriage Counsellingthough it is far from complete.

I would want to develop a deep understanding of all the cultures ofthe world and create a handbook of its sex and relationships and shareit with the mainstream societies of the world.Then there would be noscope to look at others with disdain.

I rate Marriage,Celibacy and other Non Marital institutions at thesame level.All the institute satisfy different needs of Men AndWomen.We have to develop tolerance for all theseinstitutions.Personally speaking, some one who wants to marry but hasto remain celibate or vice versa is unhappy at a personal level.Thisleads to an unhappy family and finally an unhappy society.Do we wantthat?I don`t think so.

At the end of it all,i believe that Love and Sex Education shouldbe compulsory from Grade nine onwards.Premarital guidance will savemany divorces.Partner Compatibility testing will help hundreds ofcouples look into their relationships before they take a plunge.

DATING IDEOLOGY:

Dating is for two people of the opposite or same sex ,to find out whether they are compatible for marriage or long term relationship.They should spend a fixed time together to ascertain their compatibility for future life together.

It is very important that if you do not like or love someone ,make sure that you convey this message to him or her.It is not right to play with someone1s mind ,body and feelings when you have no future interest in him or her.Many people end up in deep depression when they are betrayed by their partners .Some even contemplate or commit suicide.

Think many times before you take your partner1s virginity.If sex is what you are looking at ,have it with a sex buddy.Many girls are very fearful after they lose their virginity,thinking their future partner may find out their sex life.

Date as many people as you want but do it with respect and responsibitiy.Dating should not be an excuse to jump in bed.Dating is a very useful custom and people who take undue advantage of it bring the whole custom under a scanner.

MARRIAGE IDEOLOGY:

Marriage is a very complex institution and getting more and more omplex day by day.Any man or woman contemplating marriage has to accept that adjustments will be a daily part of their lives.Sometimes the husband`s will,sometimesthe wife`s will and sometimes the relationship will have to be given importance.Too much individualism goes against the marriage.

It is important that couples take a mandatory pre marital counseling program to ensure a higher rate of their marital success.

LIFE IDEOLOGY:

Life becomes much easier and happy when we live by following certain values.Have personal,social,moral,spiritual and behavioural values to guide your conduct.People who do not have any values ,end up in big crisis for themselves as well as for others.

HEALTH IDEOLOGY:

Eat healthy ,think healthy,follow a balanced lifestyle of mind body and soul.Avoid any form of drugs.Manage your stress and seek help when necessary.Make sure that you pay attention to your Physical,Intellectual,Social,Emotional and Spiritual health.Do include some form of Physical and mental exercise daily in your life.

My Sex and Relationship Ideology is Simple-LIVE AND LET LIVE.

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About Dr.Uttam Dave

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Dr. Uttam Dave a Sexologist, Relationship Expert,Dating Coach and a Match Maker. He is an MSc in Psychology, MS in Counselling & Psychotherapy,Mphil in Counselling and Phd In Sexology...